Pedestrian Etiquette: How to behave
Why is it that when someone makes a careless maneuver in their vehicle, it is commonplace for other drivers to angrily honk their horns and make obscene gestures? Well, naturally, it is because when a person defies or neglects to obey the rules of the road, he or she is automatically--and quite audibly--singled out and made to realize how fucking stupid they are.
When it comes to walking, though, we do not have a set of rules in place. Yes, there are pedestrian crossings at intersections and that sort of thing, but I am referring to instances when all that keeps us from crashing into one another is common sense. Unfortunately, though, few people possess this trait. Collisions are rare on sidewalks, staircases and in hallways, but because of other peoples' ignorance, we all suffer. Whenever I am scheduled for an appointment with the dentist, for instance, he will remark, "Your teeth look great; but it looks as though you've been grinding them in your sleep." No, Doc; I grind them whenever I encounter fuckwits who get in my way--so I guess I grind them a lot!
Usually it's hard to piss me off when there is a lot of space. The reason for this is because if I am walking in say, a parking lot, and there is someone coming towards me, I can alter my direction very slightly and manage to stay the hell out of the other person's path by making a new one for myself. Oh yes, I am perfectly willing to take the initiative by being the one to move out of the way; this is all I ask for: the freedom to go where I want, when I want. But because most of our day to day walking does not occur in parking lots, but in confined spaces, when people do not behave conscientiously, it drives me nuts.
So let's discuss a hypothetical situation, shall we? Two people are walking down a hallway towards one another and there is enough room for both to pass by comfortably. Okay, now I don't know if in England, where they drive on the left side of the road, people will walk in a similar manner; but because this is North America and we drive on the right (ie. correct) side of the road, we should naturally do the same thing when it comes to walking.
I absolutely hate the defiant fucks who will walk on the left and look at the ground in front of them as they approach, as if to say, "I don't you see you coming, so what I'm doing is okay." Wrong, asshole. Wrong! It is not okay, and I will make this person know it, either by stopping abruptly and forcing them to go to the other side, or by shouldering them. No, not enough to send them flying, but just enough to say, "I hate you."
People are naturally more confident when they walk in groups because they feel there is strength in numbers and that they do not have to pay attention to anyone else. When walking by yourself, how many times have groups walking two or three abreast forced you to the side? Lots of times, I'm sure. So this brings us to the etiquette one should follow when strolling along in numbers.
It's quite simple, really. If space--whether it be on a sidewalk or in a hallway--is limited, don't force others to jump in a snowbank or flatten against a wall to avoid you; momentarily walk in single file, for fuck's sake!
With regards to speed, I'll say this: slower traffic keep right. If you're determined to walk slowly, that's fine; but don't do it in the goddamn centre of the hallway so others can't pass you. I don't want to scuff your heels with my boots, but I will if I have to. This relates perfectly to escalators, too. If you want to stand there like a goon, travelling at a speed comparable to even the slowest of walkers, it's fine by me. But consider this: because cumbersome things like shopping carts and baby strollers are not allowed on these machines, it's only logical to deduce that they were designed to get people to their destinations more quickly--not leisurely. So again, stand on the right side of the stair to allow others the opportunity to get either to the top or bottom about ten times faster than you.
And now a few words on how we should all deal with doorways. Because I am a gentleman, I am more than happy to hold the door for a lady. Women are, after all, delicate creatures who appreciate such gestures. Why is it, then, that the weaker sex will often fail to reciprocate with kind acts of their own? Women will happily enter first as I hold the door, but will just as quickly let one shut in my face. Infuriating. When it comes to men, never yield the right of way as you might with a female, but make sure to either hand off or give added push to the door if they are following behind you so they can catch it.
When it comes to public transit, it's is truly amazing how selfish others can be. For example, every day I ride an inner-city train, and every day the same thing happens: as we come to a stop and the doors open, there is always a fucking wall of people blocking my way on the outside, craning their necks in an effort to seize the first opportunity to squeeze through the crowd and hop aboard! You morons! Why do you do this!? There is more than enough space outside the train for people to create a path for what should happen. (I sincerely hope that you know the answer is to allow the people on the train to get off before you attempt to get on.) It is so simple, yet people never let it happen. When you are waiting to board either a train, bus, taxi, or anything, understand that if people are getting off, they have the right of way.
I could write a fucking book on this issue, but I think these few guidelines give a good understanding of how to behave. I encourage everyone to try and think of the other pedestrians out there. Be as courteous as possible and proceed in a calm and orderly fashion.
When it comes to walking, though, we do not have a set of rules in place. Yes, there are pedestrian crossings at intersections and that sort of thing, but I am referring to instances when all that keeps us from crashing into one another is common sense. Unfortunately, though, few people possess this trait. Collisions are rare on sidewalks, staircases and in hallways, but because of other peoples' ignorance, we all suffer. Whenever I am scheduled for an appointment with the dentist, for instance, he will remark, "Your teeth look great; but it looks as though you've been grinding them in your sleep." No, Doc; I grind them whenever I encounter fuckwits who get in my way--so I guess I grind them a lot!
Usually it's hard to piss me off when there is a lot of space. The reason for this is because if I am walking in say, a parking lot, and there is someone coming towards me, I can alter my direction very slightly and manage to stay the hell out of the other person's path by making a new one for myself. Oh yes, I am perfectly willing to take the initiative by being the one to move out of the way; this is all I ask for: the freedom to go where I want, when I want. But because most of our day to day walking does not occur in parking lots, but in confined spaces, when people do not behave conscientiously, it drives me nuts.
So let's discuss a hypothetical situation, shall we? Two people are walking down a hallway towards one another and there is enough room for both to pass by comfortably. Okay, now I don't know if in England, where they drive on the left side of the road, people will walk in a similar manner; but because this is North America and we drive on the right (ie. correct) side of the road, we should naturally do the same thing when it comes to walking.
I absolutely hate the defiant fucks who will walk on the left and look at the ground in front of them as they approach, as if to say, "I don't you see you coming, so what I'm doing is okay." Wrong, asshole. Wrong! It is not okay, and I will make this person know it, either by stopping abruptly and forcing them to go to the other side, or by shouldering them. No, not enough to send them flying, but just enough to say, "I hate you."
People are naturally more confident when they walk in groups because they feel there is strength in numbers and that they do not have to pay attention to anyone else. When walking by yourself, how many times have groups walking two or three abreast forced you to the side? Lots of times, I'm sure. So this brings us to the etiquette one should follow when strolling along in numbers.
It's quite simple, really. If space--whether it be on a sidewalk or in a hallway--is limited, don't force others to jump in a snowbank or flatten against a wall to avoid you; momentarily walk in single file, for fuck's sake!
With regards to speed, I'll say this: slower traffic keep right. If you're determined to walk slowly, that's fine; but don't do it in the goddamn centre of the hallway so others can't pass you. I don't want to scuff your heels with my boots, but I will if I have to. This relates perfectly to escalators, too. If you want to stand there like a goon, travelling at a speed comparable to even the slowest of walkers, it's fine by me. But consider this: because cumbersome things like shopping carts and baby strollers are not allowed on these machines, it's only logical to deduce that they were designed to get people to their destinations more quickly--not leisurely. So again, stand on the right side of the stair to allow others the opportunity to get either to the top or bottom about ten times faster than you.
And now a few words on how we should all deal with doorways. Because I am a gentleman, I am more than happy to hold the door for a lady. Women are, after all, delicate creatures who appreciate such gestures. Why is it, then, that the weaker sex will often fail to reciprocate with kind acts of their own? Women will happily enter first as I hold the door, but will just as quickly let one shut in my face. Infuriating. When it comes to men, never yield the right of way as you might with a female, but make sure to either hand off or give added push to the door if they are following behind you so they can catch it.
When it comes to public transit, it's is truly amazing how selfish others can be. For example, every day I ride an inner-city train, and every day the same thing happens: as we come to a stop and the doors open, there is always a fucking wall of people blocking my way on the outside, craning their necks in an effort to seize the first opportunity to squeeze through the crowd and hop aboard! You morons! Why do you do this!? There is more than enough space outside the train for people to create a path for what should happen. (I sincerely hope that you know the answer is to allow the people on the train to get off before you attempt to get on.) It is so simple, yet people never let it happen. When you are waiting to board either a train, bus, taxi, or anything, understand that if people are getting off, they have the right of way.
I could write a fucking book on this issue, but I think these few guidelines give a good understanding of how to behave. I encourage everyone to try and think of the other pedestrians out there. Be as courteous as possible and proceed in a calm and orderly fashion.
posted by Wino McHackenpuke at 9:09 PM
1 Comments:
I walk through school hallways packed with students everyday. And, I couldn't tell you how many times i've been shoved into walls, slowed by large mobs of chatting girls, and hit in the face by swinging doors.
It's a terrible shame. Thank you for the good laugh. *bookmarks blog.*
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