Blog Wars - Episode IV - A New Dope
As many of you are aware, the majority of my site's visitors do not arrive by way of the "Next Blog" button. No, most of the time they are lured here, provoked by some negative comment I left on their site, and determined to defend their honor. Now, more often than not, the exchange will end at that point. The person will type up some dim-witted response, submit it, and then read past articles of mine in search of fodder with which to attack me. Ironically, they end up loving the content they find and become regular readers. I see it happen time and time again.
Recently, as you may have noticed, I've been neglecting my Blogging. Nothing has specifically been keeping me from it; overall, I'd say that laziness and a general lack of inspiration are to blame. But all of that changed today, when, after checking in on my page, I noticed some activity in the comment section of my Oscar post. A user by the name of "web-Pix" had submitted what appeared to be some sort of insult. It read as follows:
"Oh got this is a blog with a lot of bla bla bla is this all ?or What - Art Lover."
Now, as near as I could tell, this was some sort of primitive Inuit dialect. Nah, I'm just kidding - it was simply the work of some mentally retarded person. In any event, I clicked on Web-Pix's name and immediately found myself on a site with many contributors. The most recent post, made today by a user named "Henri's World," was a Photoshop-edited picture of the one I have in my profile. Here is that picture:
I give them an A for effort. Click the picture
to view it, and more low-quality art from the
people at "web-pix."
Who is this "Henri's World" guy? I thought to myself. I reasoned that because I had never encountered him before, I must have insulted one the contributors of the page, and that this was some sort of geek retribution! Fascinating. I then set about viewing each of contributing members' profiles, in search of any that might seem familiar to me. My sleuthing turned up results before long, when I came across the name "Jozee."
Jozee
I immediately recognized her, as would any fan of the Canadian comedy series, The Kids in the Hall. Remember her "Chicken Lady" sketch? It was definitely one of the funnier segments of the program!
Jozee as "Chicken Lady"
But I also recognized Jozee from somewhere else! Yes, I quickly remembered visiting one of her many Blogs and coming across her so-called "artwork." The piece that led me to comment is exhibited below. What mas my comment, you ask? It was: "You call this art?! *pukes*"
Wow, man. It...transcends time and space. *Tearing up*
This work can be seen on Jozee's "Virtual Lovers"
Blog.
Here's what she had to say about the piece: "Much of this based on the function in dimension, space versus time, kind ofrelative to chronosynclasticinfindibulum - ie: The theory of the universe ... "
Translation: "I think that my pretentious, bullshit 'explanation' will justify such abstract garbage. I'm well aware that this looks like a screenshot of an Atari game, circa. 1979, but the people who visit my site won't! Ha ha ha ha!"
Jozee's response to my vomiting was, "Thanks for hating my work enough to comment.As my 2D design Prof said, 'If art invokes an emotion, any emotion ,it's true art.'"
That's an interesting stance your "Professor" has, Jozee. But in actual fact, his wisdom is a defense mechanism used by artists with no talent. My guess is that he keeps Andy Warhol silkscreens underneath his matress.
Your Professor would say that because I did not like your work I was not appreciating it for what it is. In reality, I'm dismissing it because of what it isn't. Your medium is boring, and requires little to no talent. The same can be said for all your buddies who tinker with the Hue and Saturation of pictures in Photoshop.
Recently, as you may have noticed, I've been neglecting my Blogging. Nothing has specifically been keeping me from it; overall, I'd say that laziness and a general lack of inspiration are to blame. But all of that changed today, when, after checking in on my page, I noticed some activity in the comment section of my Oscar post. A user by the name of "web-Pix" had submitted what appeared to be some sort of insult. It read as follows:
"Oh got this is a blog with a lot of bla bla bla is this all ?or What - Art Lover."
Now, as near as I could tell, this was some sort of primitive Inuit dialect. Nah, I'm just kidding - it was simply the work of some mentally retarded person. In any event, I clicked on Web-Pix's name and immediately found myself on a site with many contributors. The most recent post, made today by a user named "Henri's World," was a Photoshop-edited picture of the one I have in my profile. Here is that picture:
I give them an A for effort. Click the picture
to view it, and more low-quality art from the
people at "web-pix."
Who is this "Henri's World" guy? I thought to myself. I reasoned that because I had never encountered him before, I must have insulted one the contributors of the page, and that this was some sort of geek retribution! Fascinating. I then set about viewing each of contributing members' profiles, in search of any that might seem familiar to me. My sleuthing turned up results before long, when I came across the name "Jozee."
Jozee
I immediately recognized her, as would any fan of the Canadian comedy series, The Kids in the Hall. Remember her "Chicken Lady" sketch? It was definitely one of the funnier segments of the program!
Jozee as "Chicken Lady"
But I also recognized Jozee from somewhere else! Yes, I quickly remembered visiting one of her many Blogs and coming across her so-called "artwork." The piece that led me to comment is exhibited below. What mas my comment, you ask? It was: "You call this art?! *pukes*"
Wow, man. It...transcends time and space. *Tearing up*
This work can be seen on Jozee's "Virtual Lovers"
Blog.
Here's what she had to say about the piece: "Much of this based on the function in dimension, space versus time, kind ofrelative to chronosynclasticinfindibulum - ie: The theory of the universe ... "
Translation: "I think that my pretentious, bullshit 'explanation' will justify such abstract garbage. I'm well aware that this looks like a screenshot of an Atari game, circa. 1979, but the people who visit my site won't! Ha ha ha ha!"
Jozee's response to my vomiting was, "Thanks for hating my work enough to comment.As my 2D design Prof said, 'If art invokes an emotion, any emotion ,it's true art.'"
That's an interesting stance your "Professor" has, Jozee. But in actual fact, his wisdom is a defense mechanism used by artists with no talent. My guess is that he keeps Andy Warhol silkscreens underneath his matress.
Your Professor would say that because I did not like your work I was not appreciating it for what it is. In reality, I'm dismissing it because of what it isn't. Your medium is boring, and requires little to no talent. The same can be said for all your buddies who tinker with the Hue and Saturation of pictures in Photoshop.
posted by Wino McHackenpuke at 4:23 PM
7 Comments:
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I kind of feel bad now. I actually had a good look at most of Jonzee's blogs, and I came to the realization that she truly is psychotic.
You are a sad sick kid Wino
why dont you leave people alone
this is not nice what you are doing !!
I was not offended when you crapped on my waffles a few months back. No, I was amused. Sharing is caring, after all, and any comment is a compliment, backhanded though yours may be.
I hope you continue to mark territory via urination. Blogs are for entertainment. Your method or stirring up action is puerile and juvenile, but such values do not preclude a giggle or two.
You should write more often, though. No inspiration is a weak excuse. Commit crimes, get in fights, kill squirrels, do whatever it takes. Entertain me. It's your job.
Fire Alarm, I really wish more bloggers would adopt your attitude - because you "get it."
And you're right, sharing IS caring. I believe the first post of yours I commented on was something to do with Neil Young, was it not? That's why I posted, likely: I'm a huge Neil Young fan. I saw him in concert a couple of summers ago, too. What I said was juvenile, of course, but it brought you here, and now we share this rapport!
People like "Sexplorer" above us, here, just don't understand. I checked out her blog and discovered that she's one of those "liberated" women, who explores her sexual fantasies with many men -- but she's MARRIED! She claimed that she was completely happy with her husband, but in the same post said she had been with THREE other guys recently. Why would I receive an unprovoked attack from HER?
Here's what I posted on her blog in response:
"It's interesting that you feel the need to judge me, Amanda, calling me a "sick kid" and claiming that what I do on my blog is "not right."
What I do is in the name of entertainment. It entertains me, and it entertains my readers.
What if I were to tell you that what YOU'RE doing is "sick"? That any woman who claims to be fully satisfied with her marriage, yet feels the need to screw around with other men is nothing but a whore? That you're a walking insult to the wedding vows you uttered once upon a time?"
Bottle Rocket, did I ever tell you about the time my roommate and I launched a couple dozen bottle rockets at a nearby drug dealer's house one night, in the hopes the police would come and arrest him?
Yes, I was calling an unwashed freak Neil Young all night because his sweatshirt read "OHIO" and he had never been there. He also knew nothing of Neil Young. I couldn't resist.
I don't know about unprovoked, Wino! You do try to infuriate, after all. I don't think she'll become a fan.
No, you didn't tell me about that time. Please do, in detail.
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