Sunday, March 26, 2006

I am Going to Kill and Devour the Easter Bunny

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Lately I've been really pumped about eating meat for some reason. Every night I'm out on the back deck, grilling either chicken legs, pork chops, or steaks so big I can't fit any other items on the plate!

Earlier this evening, around dusk, I was tending to the dozen drumsticks I had on the barbeque when a shadow caught my eye -- a rabbit, about ten or twelve feet away! It was brown and, I thought, surprisingly plump for this time of year. It must have done a good job storing up fat in the fall. Anyway, there it was, on the remaining crusts of snow, looking for bits of plant life to nibble on before heading back to the warren. My hunter instincts kicked in. He looked like a good meal! Lucky for him, I already had one on the go.

I decided that I want to hunt or trap me some rabbit! I like killing animals for sport and I enjoy the taste of flesh, so it makes sense to do this! Alternatively, I suppose I could just go to the pet store and pick up a tame little meal... but no, there'd be no sport in that. And that's another thing: learning to prepare and cook these critters is great survival training! If I ever got lost in the woods, it'd be a rabbit buffet!

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9 Comments:

Blogger Mimi said...

I get on kicks where all I want to eat is red meat, but I don't think I would ever crave rabbit. I've had it before and it was gross to me. But, to each his own. Hope you get to go out and catch one. Sounds fun. Last night, when I took the dogs out, we had two in our back yard.

10:14 PM  
Blogger GrĂ¼ndel said...

Your requested picture awaits you.

And for fucks sake I heil hasenpfeffer! :P

9:16 AM  
Blogger Angel said...

Hunting and killing an animal to eat it is actually less gruesome to me than domesticated cows taking a hammer to the head for a burger.
But I'd eat both. Well, I'd at least TRY the rabbit.
Good luck, and remember to be vewy vewy qwiet.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

Awesome. Stew or steak?

6:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a shocking post. You are a real countercultural revolutionary. Thanks for smashing the system. I imagine that you were blaring Nirvana while you composed this garbage, sitting at your antique desk with your smoking jacket on.

I don't know what's worse: your post, or the pathetic followers that put comments on here, desperately trying to capture the crass tone of your writing.

In fact, this whole scenario is so awful that I felt compelled to write about it. I wanted my disgust to be recorded for all to see. There is an alternative to childish attempts at shocking people. Not everything online has to be completely devoid of quality.

10:20 PM  
Blogger Wino McHackenpuke said...

Why are the most entertaining replies anonymous ones?

Oh well - I know who you are, anyway. ;)

I think I was listening to Jefferson Airplane when I wrote this garbage post, by the way. "White Rabbit."

7:23 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

Wow, I'm a pathetic follower, I have been called worse, lol. I do love those anonymous posters. So, did you ever get a rabit? And I absolutely hate "White Rabit", Grace Slick just creeped me out in the 60's and 70's, but her transformation in the 80's was even scarier.

10:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hahahaha, wow I find your writting extremely amusing. Unfortch, it seems like you have left blogging for a while.....
such a shame
keep it up!
or.....you know, not

4:48 PM  
Blogger Angel said...

hello? Ya dead?

5:22 PM  

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