Wino is Interviewed

'Evening.

I thought I'd share the latest news about the wine store job with you - not that it's news any more. It happened a little while ago, but I've been lazy and haven't updated. Annnnyway.

Just for kicks, last week I decided to meet with Judy, the manager of the wine store. She had been wanting to do an interview, you see. Being shot in the face at this job was still a concern of mine, of course, but I had nothing better to do that day, so I called her up and she suggested that we meet in the little restaurant beside her place at 5pm. "Okay. See you then," I said.

I arrived at the restaurant early and found that it was deserted. No surprise there. Over the past couple of years numerous owners have tried to set up shop, only to see their businesses go belly-up before their first short-term lease came to an end. I considered telling the enthusiastic new owner that her investment was doomed, but she looked to be having fun painting the entranceway to the bathroom, so I just ordered a coffee instead.

I sat down at a table with my coffee and waited. It wasn't long before Judy rolled up next door in her mini van. I had never seen her before, but she told me that she was Spanish on the phone, so I was reasonably sure that it was her. Sure enough, after briefely entering the wine store with a clipboard full of paper, she came in to the restaurant. She immediately guessed who I was too.

"Wino!" she said with a smile. "I hope you haven't been waiting long?"
"No, no. Just a couple of minutes."
"Well, let's have a seat up here." She then led me up two steps and to a booth in the corner, where she layed out the resume I had given her and a few thick binders, which contained the details of her business.

I won't bore you with the formalities of the interview, since it was really your typical little chat. Where have you worked, what management traits did you enjoy in past employers, etc.

What I did find annoying, though, was how she would constantly break from our interview to talk with the waiter (whom she evidently knew rather well) who kept coming by to top off her coffee. "You're trying to make me pee, aren't you!?" she joked. "I've had nothing but liquid all day, so I've been constantly peeing!" Cringe.

She was one of those "loud talkers," who thought it perfectly normal to shout her casual conversation across the restaurant. "NICE DAY, ISN'T IT!?" she'd shout. "OH, REAL NICE!" came the reply. For fuck's sake, couldn't they save this for later?!

By this point I was pretty sure I didn't want to work for this woman. Not only was I risking bodily harm at her establishment, but I also discovered that the hours were few and the pay was lower than I had hoped.

The final straw was when she pointed to my surname on the resume and asked what its origin was. When I told her white European, she said, "Ah. You're just lacking that bit of 'spice' -- like a bit of Black or Spanish." What the fuck? 'Twas said in jest, but I was left unimpressed. What would be the reaction if I was interviewing her for a position and said "You're lacking a certain 'caucasion quality' I often look for in employees"? Ha! Not too good, I assure you. But I held my tongue. I considered sarcastically saying, "Yeah, it's really holding me back in the business world," and then laughing heartily with a slap to the table--but no. Best to shake her hand and depart. I'm cool like that.